How Do You Invite Those You Love?

  

  Unless I have my spiritual wires crossed, this fall I plan on going through Alien Love with the people that God places on my heart.  For anyone who has already went through the study, if they remain with me, they will be playing a vital role in it as well.

   I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about the kinds of conversations I need to be having with the people in my life, whether they be believers, non-believers, family or coworkers.  I have also done a lot of thinking as to how I would go about inviting loved ones to take the journey with me.

   I know that you might go about it much differently if you were in my shoes, but here is a sample of what has been on my heart as I consider inviting the people on my heart.

  

 

 

 

Dear Fellow Christian, 

 

  It’s a privilege to share a common faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and I trust that you are allowing Him to continue to mould and to make you more and more like Himself.  I hope you desire the same for me.  I’m writing today to invite you to be a part of something that I am very passionate about .

   Beginning this September, I plan to lead a study group through my book, Alien Love.  I think very highly of you, so I thought that you might be interested.  We will be meeting once a month for 10 months.  If you are interested and if you think you would have the time, I hope you will consider attending our first gathering, just to try it out.

  We will be kicking off the study on September 15^th.  If you’re interested, please let me know by August 3^rd.  If I don’t hear from you, I will assume that you aren’t interested, but I would appreciate hearing your thoughts either way.

   Have a great day!

 

  In Christ, Love

 

Kevin

 

 

 

Dear Non-believer,

  Kevin here.   I’m writing to you today to invite you to be a part of something that I am very passionate about.  As you know, I’m one of “those” Christians; the kind that thinks forever lasts a very long time.  And because it lasts a very long time, I am convinced that whatever happens to us there, is far more important than what happens in our brief time here.  I also believe, that in forever, there is One God, and Jesus is the way to be made right with Him.

   Beginning this September, I plan to lead a study group through my book, Alien Love.  I understand if it doesn’t interest you, but please know that I’m not inviting you because I want to force it on you.  I’m inviting you because I love you, and would enjoy nothing more than for you to be my brother in Christ.   

  We will be kicking off the study on September 15^th.  If you’re interested, please let me know by August 3^rd.  If I don’t hear from you, I will assume that you aren’t interested, but I would appreciate hearing your thoughts either way.

   Have a great day!

   In Christ, Love

 

Kevin

 

 

Dear Family Member,

  Kevin here.   I’m writing to you today to invite you to be a part of something that I am very passionate about.  As you know, I’m one of “those” Christians; the kind that thinks forever lasts a very long time.  And because it lasts a very long time, I am convinced that whatever happens to us there, is far more important than what happens in our brief time here.  I also believe, that in forever, there is One God, and Jesus is the way to be made right with Him.

  You also know that I am quite active in my church.  At times, I feel like I give more of myself to my church family than I do to you, and in doing so, somehow neglect you.  I often wish that my life there were not separate from my life with you.  Perhaps you hope the same.  If so, maybe there is a way to remedy the situation.

   Beginning this September, I plan to lead a study group through my book, Alien Love.  I understand if it doesn’t interest you, but please know that I’m not inviting you because I want to force it on you.  I’m inviting you because I love you, and would enjoy nothing more than for you to walk with, me as I walk with Christ.  

  We will be kicking off the study on September 15^th.  If you’re interested, please let me know by August 3^rd.  If I don’t hear from you, I will assume that you aren’t interested, but I would appreciate hearing your thoughts either way.

   Have a great day!

   In Christ, Love

 

Kevin

 

 

 

Does God Take Pleasure in You?

He Likes Me!

by Margaret Neufeld

What does God like about you? This is a question that came up when studying Alien Love by Kevin Abell with a group of believers. At first, the only thing I could come up with was God likes me. To be honest, I didn't like the question at first. It sounded kind of conceited. Who am I to say what God likes about me? I don't know what He thinks. I was afraid to put words into the mouth of God. Also, asking what God liked about us sounded kind of cheap, like we were downplaying His love for us. However, as I began to think about it, I became very thankful for this question.

At first "like" sounded like a cheap word when we consider God's love for us. But it isn't. God isn't immature like we sometimes are. He doesn't say "I love Margaret, but that doesn't mean I have to like her." Imagine if God was like that, if He only loved us, but didn't like us. Every time I feel compelled to say "I love that person, but that doesn't mean I have to like them", it's always because I feel like I have to love them, that I'm obligated to. I have to love them because God commands it, not because I want to. I'm glad God isn't like that. He loves us because He wants to, not because He has to.

It's much easier to think about what God doesn't like about me. After all, there are a lot of things about me that are not desirable. It's almost as if I'm so used to focusing on sin in my life, my faults, things I need to change, that I forget about the good. As I mentioned, I was afraid of putting words into the mouth of God. I think it's harder to say what He likes about me specifically, because His Word doesn't tell me. I can go to His Word and see what sin is in my life that doesn't please Him. I can go to His Word and see that He loves me and created me for His pleasure. I can go to His Word and see what my position is in Christ. I can say I'm a saint, and that I'm His bride, because the Bible says I am. The Bible never tells me what God specifically likes about me, Margaret.

However, we as Christians are quick to point out things in each others' lives, and perhaps even in our own lives, that don't please God, even when the Bible doesn't specifically say so. I can say with confidence that it would not please God if I spent all my free time watching dirty movies and playing video games. The Bible never specifically says I shouldn't do that. But the Bible does say we are supposed to redeem the time and that we are to put no vile thing before our eyes. The Bible gives us general guidelines and we come up with our own specifics. Sometimes this can be dangerous and other times it can be beneficial.

If we can do that with things God isn't pleased with, then why shouldn't we be able to do the same thing with things that God is pleased with, on the condition that we are using His Word as a guide and not coming up with ridiculous ideas and claim God is pleased with them? After all, His Word does give us indications of many things that do please Him, even if it doesn't tell us anything about our lives specifically.

So what does God like about me? I started by looking in the mirror. God likes the way my eyes squint when I smile or laugh. (He likes it when I smile or laugh.) It may sound silly to some, but my eyes are a facial feature a lot of people notice about me. And since God delights in the way He made me, I think it's safe to say He likes that about me. God likes the way I share my heart with Him, no matter how dark, fearful, painful or sinful. No, He doesn't like everything I think and feel, but He does like that I don't hide those things from Him, but trust Him and lay them bare before Him. He knows anyway, but He still likes when I talk to Him about it. God also likes how I write to share with others what I'm learning and what He's doing in my life.

I also think that perhaps God likes some of the same things about us that the people who love us like about us. When I ask people for things that characterize me, I get various answers, but there are some things people mention that I believe God likes about me. How I take risks, do things to make a difference even when I may not be guaranteed results, how I'm not afraid to share what I believe, even when others might not like what I have to say. I think those are things that God likes about me as well.

This has been a good question for me to think about, and I encourage you to think about it as well. You can drop a comment to share your thoughts.

What does God like about you?

No Self Control

            I found this article to be interesting.  Well.  I guess I don’t find the article all that peculiar.  It’s the general response that I don’t understand.  Most of the responses I have been reading seem to be upset that she was let go because her boss found her irresistible.

It doesn’t make sense to me.  I mean, that is precisely what our world teaches over and over.  My daughter is in her first year of high school and she is being taught the very same things I was taught over 20 years ago.  Whenever anyone brought up the concept of celibacy outside of marriage, the predominant teaching was that you can’t expect people to control themselves.

                It is taught year after year, generation after generation, and from class to class.  We are animals with no self control.  Whatever your inclinations are, either men or monkeys, there is nothing you can do about it.  History and science generally teach the same.  We’re just creatures of instinct.   (Personally, I don't know why we aren't offended by the message.)

So why is it, that a man without self control would offend our culture?  Not only that.  Why are we appalled at rape?  If we can’t control ourselves, then we can’t control ourselves.

                One of the comments I read said something like this – ‘I thought we were past this sort of thing.’   That’s precisely the point.  This is the very direction we are headed in.  We tell each other that we are animals.  We teach our students that we can’t expect them to control themselves.  We glorify the orgasm in song and in film, and somehow we have the gall to be offended when somebody can’t control himself.

Of course…the news writers spend very little time taking note of the fact that her boss asked her to dress down.  I don’t know about you, but in my workplace, the people who sign my paycheck generally expect me to do as they say.  In fact, I even have to wear the clothes they tell me to.  

Did the dentist do right?  In my opinion, that depends on whether he is a monkey or a child of God.  If he is a monkey, he did well.

For the Weird Girl

  Whether we realize it or not, there is a very real battle being fought for our minds.  Some of those fights are waged hoping that we will simply purchase their product. Others are trying to convince us of their political views or to get us to join their cause.  Others are vying for our very souls.

   I often wonder whether or not those battles are intentional, or if we have been programmed as such.   We’re taught, at least in English, how to form a thesis and defend the argument, in order to convince the reader of that thesis.  Rather than a seeking after truth, we have been taught how to defend our point.  (Personally, I think there is a great injustice in that)

     It is therefore no surprise that our world does everything it can to mould you into their form, buy their stuff and think their thoughts.

    Sending you off to high school wasn’t really all that tough of a decision for your mother and I.  A lot of people thought it must have been hard.  You have likely overheard many people ask, “So.  Are you ready for the big change as your daughter heads off to high school?”

   I guess it was big in the sense that we did a lot of praying over the decision.  It was also big in the sense that I almost cried when your cat walked to the road to say good-bye on your first day of school.  It was not a big deal in the sense that we are worried about your ability to find your way in this world. 

  It isn’t so much that we think you’re the perfect girl and that you don’t sin.  It’s more that, we believe that your faith in Christ is authentic, and that He is able to meet your every need as you navigate through life.

    As believers, we often debate over what our lives in this world should look like.  Sometimes we look down on people who seem to isolate themselves from the world.  The truth is, we are in the world whether we like it or not.  The question we need to ask is, “What am I doing as I live in the world?”

Jeremiah 15:19

“....If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
do not let them influence you!”

   When I think of you in your life at high school, God’s words to Jeremiah often come to mind when He said, “You must influence them.  Do not let them influence you!”

   You are much different than the world, and by now, you have no doubt noticed exactly that.  It’s not that you are better than anyone, that you sin less or that you do more good things.  The difference is Christ.   Sure.  Our world is fine with individuality, just as long as our individuality remains about the clothes we wear, our hair style or wearing black lipstick.  We find opposition when we actually are different.

   I believe that you are there in your setting to influence those around you.  They are not to influence you.  My hope is that you don’t grow weary in being you, because your mother and I REALLY like you.  I know it can be tiring to swim upstream, but that’s kind of the whole point.

Don't Work On Your Marriage

  Here is where I finally blow it.  I am about to write something that flies in the face of what many or most serious Christians in my life have to say about the topic.    Actually, you may be one of the many people in my life, who at one time said this to me, “You need to work on your marriage for it to be successful.”

  Don’t get me wrong.  I think marriage is great.  The bond between husband and wife can be beautiful, romantic and God glorifying all at the same time.  Still, I don’t really believe in “working on my marriage”.

  To be sure, many of the things that I do might be considered by some as an attempt to “work on my marriage”.  I do most of those things we read about in those, ‘Top Ten Tips for a Successful Marriage” articles.   I simply don’t do those kinds of things as a way to put effort into the relationship.

    We are planning to go on another date this coming month.  We’ll likely go to Boston Pizza.  She’ll order a chocolate eruption cake and I’ll down a perogy pizza.  After that we’ll stay the night at a motel.  In the morning we’ll go shopping at Dollarama.  We often go for walks together to the back of our farm.  It’s a 2k walk there and back.  When she asks me to do something, I do it.  I don’t do these things because I’m trying to make it work.  I do them because I love her.  We go out together because we like being together.  I pick up my clothes because she’s my wife, not my mom.

   If you are married, I hope you enjoy a healthy marriage.  As important as our marriages are, (And I believe that God hates divorce) I really find that for the believer, our marriage is secondary to our relationship with Christ.

1 Corinthians 7:29
But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage

   The Bible has a lot to say about the relationship between husbands and wives, yet it isn’t the primary theme throughout scripture.  Marriage is meant to be a very brief lifelong affair.  If we are to ‘work on a relationship’, the relationship that calls for the most attention is our relationship to Christ. 

  In Christian circles, we have developed a significant amount of resources designed to help strengthen our marriages.  Most of them are wonderful.  Is it not possible, as noble as the cause may be that we occasionally snub the true lover of our soul in the process? 

  What I’m advocating isn’t necessarily a recipe for a successful marriage, although, most of the time, if our hearts really are walking in step with Jesus, the overflow out of it tends to improve our relationships with other people.

    If I grow in my relationship with God having the love of Christ, the peace of Christ, the patience of Christ, the kindness of Christ and the gentleness of Christ, what kind of impact do you think it would have on my marriage?  And if in growing more like Christ doesn’t make me a better husband, what kind of God am I seeking after anyway?  An authentically deepening relationship with Jesus, often benefits the relationships we have with others.  (Often, not always)

  There are no guarantees in life.  If you were to pour all of your attention into your marriage, you are only one part of the equation.  Sorry folks.  Wives leave perfectly decent husbands.  And there are husbands who leave, even when they have a good thing going.  Even if you do everything you possibly could, you might not find yourself capable of maintaining the relationship.

   I won’t ask you to model your marriage after mine.  I won’t even ask that you seek to be married.  I would encourage you to either receive or to remain in fellowship with Christ.  Our relationship with Him deserves the attention.

 (Unless your God is dead, and unable to make you more like Christ.  In that case, work on your marriage.)

Covering Up Sin

This week I posted this on my Facebook:

“So you’ve turned from a life of sin.  What lengths do you go to cover up your tracks?”

   I thought I’d answer my own question here in this space, because it wouldn’t fit under comments.

   I guess to me, the phrase ‘cover up’ sounds misplaced.  When I think of someone covering something up, it’s usually in reference to someone who is afraid that they will get caught.  They aren’t really sorry that they did the deed.  They just don’t want to be found out.

  Having been forgiven, I’m really not proud of my shame, but I don’t live in hiding either.  So where I don’t feel the need to cover my old life as some dirty secret, there are reasons why we don’t intentionally broadcast our past depravity.  Here are a couple of reasons.

God Will Forgive You – The World Probably Won’t.

  If you have believed in Christ, in the way you have been called, your sins are forgiven.  The world however is not so forgiving.  Oh.  They say they are tolerant.  In actual fact, we are the ones who are expected to be tolerant.

  If I say Tiger Woods, we remember his infidelity.  If you were alive during Nixon’s time, you will no doubt associate his memory with scandal.  God wipes the slate clean for those who receive His pardon.  The world will hold your crimes against you as long as she can remember them, perhaps longer.

  It’s no secret that employers often pass over potential employees after discovering their dirt.  So maybe the picture with you and the crack pipe would be better left off of your Timeline.  Just saying.  You might be proud of who you were and all, but it might hamper your future.

The Immaturity of Others

  If everyone was jumping off of a bridge would you?  A lot of people would.  I had the privilege of listening to this conversation between a man and a son a few weeks ago.

  “Hey dad.  I want to do STUPID THING”

  “Don’t do STUPID THING son.  It’s stupid”

  “Sure dad.  But you did STUPID THING when you were younger.”

  “I know son.  But it’s really stupid.  So you shouldn’t do STUPID THING.”

  “That’s not fair dad.  You did STUPID THING when you were young, so why can’t I do STUPID THING now?”

   Unless you live under a rock, you have known people to do stupid things, just because other people did stupid things.   You probably know of people who were unfaithful, because someone else was unfaithful.

  Just so you know.  The young man ended up doing STUPID THING.  People are dumb.  We use the sins of others to justify our own.  When others find out your sins, some of them will be tempted to use them to justify doing the same.

  This isn’t the whole story on the topic.  It’s only part of it.  There is a place to publicly confess, as a way to speak against the issue itself.  Feel free to write that part yourself.

Processing Life

 How accurate are you at processing life as it happens?   I’m sure you’re a pro.

    My daughter brought a graphic novel home from her school’s library this week, and she gave me a weird look when I asked her, “What is it teaching you?” 

“Nothing.  It’s not a teaching kind of a book, dad.”

   Whether we know it or not, and whether we intend it or not, the stories we tell do in fact teach a message.  As we looked at it together, it was making rather strong statements about good and evil, right and wrong, sin and righteousness.

   Many of the people who read my writings have read at least some of The Bible.  If you are among such people and if you look at The Bible for what it is, it isn’t a book of doctrine or systematic theology.  It is a book composed largely of stories.  Stories were even one of Christ’s greatest methods of teaching.

   Other than the parables of Christ, the stories we read about in Scripture are true stories.  So I often feel that our ability to grow as believers depends largely on our ability to process life itself.   We learn and we teach each other, whether intentionally or not, by the very lives we live, and the light in which we view life’s narrative.  The brush that paints the picture, often proves to be more significant than the events of the story itself.

   When we read life stories told from God’s perspective, it looks different than when the same events are told elsewhere.   Evil is called as evil, and righteousness as righteousness.  Dark is called dark, and light is called light.

  As we looked closer at my daughter’s graphic novel, in a very noticeable fashion, dark was portrayed as being light, and light was presented as if it were the darkness.  Similarly, sin was presented as if it were the right thing to do.  For a piece that wasn’t supposed to teach anything, it made some very strong statements.

     I have no idea whether or not the author had crafted his story with the intent of making sin look right.  I find it more likely, that in his heart, he really saw nothing wrong with sin, and wasn’t intentionally trying to convince someone of his way of thinking.  It just happens on its own.

  Similarly, our lives teach whether we know it or not; whether we intend it or not.  For all of the teaching I do, I get more feedback where people have been challenged, just from watching how I make decisions, love my children and live out my faith in Christ.  Likewise, more often than not, I find myself being convicted of sin, not by the preacher’s words, but from the conviction of a close friend. 

  Depending on the company we keep, it works the other way as well.  It’s easy to find comfort in our depravity when it’s affirmed in the lives of those who walk with us. 

  Considering that scripture is made up of real stories, written by God’s real people, I often find it odd when I hear of people who say that life’s experiences tell a different tale.  If your life’s story doesn’t sound like God’s story, why is that?      

  If you’re drawing different conclusions about life than God does, who’s wrong?