Introduction :Alien Love

What This Is (and Is Not)

Hello. My name is Kevin Abell. You probably gathered that after reading the name on the front cover. Before you dive in to this book about love, there are some things that I would like to share with you. I want to do this in order to make sure that you aren’t being set up for disappointment. You might end up feeling let down regardless, but I can’t stand the thought of you continuing on in search of something that isn’t here.

I don’t know why you read books. Out of the few books that I have read, many seem to be little more than long essays. They are designed in order to try and reveal some grave injustice at work in the world and show us the way to address it. Some books are written as a call to arms or to advocate a course of action. Others are informative. This work is none of the above.

If you are looking at this for information, you will probably become disenchanted. To be completely forthcoming, this book is no more about love than my last book was about healing. My last book had the appearance of a book about healing, and that’s exactly how many people received it. At the heart of this work, as well as my last, is a signpost which is meant to move us towards Jesus.

What you are holding in your hands is this; A Journey. A journey is much different than an essay. An essay is written by someone who believes that they know enough about a topic in order to inform and convince you of their thesis. I beg you not to proceed in this way because I know how disappointing it can be when you purchase a product that doesn’t do what you thought it was supposed to do.

Before you read further, please address this question. Are you willing to set out on a journey? If you aren’t, if you are expecting this to go in a certain direction, either to the right or to the left, you won’t likely find what you are looking for.

On The Word Love Itself

Whether by design, or poor recognition, authentic love has become an elusive phenomenon. It is a word that we use to describe our affection for everything from iced cream to our boyfriend. It seems to be something that we both receive as well as something that can be made. I don’t know how it got this way. Overall, love is a word which is unable to capture all that it was intended to describe. It carries with itself so much baggage that we really don’t know what to do with it.

Whenever a person speaks on love, it’s always difficult to know exactly what they mean. We tend to confuse it with human sexuality and romance. The word might be in reference to affection. It is often used to describe acts of kindness.

I don’t know exactly who has the power to make up words, nor do I know who authenticates the decision. I do know that the word was destined for failure. If you are reading through the Bible, depending on whether you are reading through a text which has been written in Greek or Hebrew, there are approximately 20 different words that might form the foundation for what is written on the page before you.

Left Behind

If you are among the many people that have been deceived by Harold Camping this past weekend, I want you to know that my heart goes out to you this morning. This is the first day that you had planned to spend in glory with Jesus. No doubt you have found yourself here on this side of life, facing at least some amount of disappointment.

Many of you have left your homes, families and jobs because you believed in your heart of hearts that Jesus was coming back for you yesterday. I can’t even pretend to know how you feel in your heart. Nobody can bring your sincerity into question. Neither can we place your devotion to Jesus into question, having forsaken all. I can’t begin to imagine the disappointment that you face.

Please know that Jesus isn’t the one who let you down. If you’ve suffered financial loss and public humiliation in front of your family and co-workers, it doesn’t have to be in vain. Jesus is still coming back for you. It just wasn’t yesterday. You have in Christ the opportunity to rise from the ashes, if you are able to see the situation for what it is, and cling to the Saviour whom you have so eagerly been waiting for.

Sure. Harold’s got your money. Much of it has been spent on billboards around the country. It doesn’t have to happen again. As for the final days, Jesus Himself told us, “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” Matthew 24:36.

Jesus Himself didn’t even know the exact time that the Son of Man would return. So the next time someone claims to know more than Jesus, I pray that you will be the wiser. Please don’t allow this great disappointment to be a dark shadow which allows itself to loom over the rest of your life. Let today be a day where you, having waited so expectantly, would receive Him in humility. You can meet Jesus today on your knees in the brokenness of faith and considering the brevity of life, don’t worry, you’ll meet Him soon enough.

Fire and Brimstone

Sometimes, in my line of work, we’re tempted to lie. I’m sure that you have never been tempted to do so in your career. There are different reasons why people lie. Much of the time, lies are told because the truth at hand won’t be well received. Whether in the medical field, the automotive trade, or any area of life, reality tends to be a rather cold, hard dish.

Let’s face it. How many people like hearing bad news? Few that I know of. The obstacle for us at The Mufflerman, is we are about the business of dealing with other people’s problems. Almost nobody comes to us because they are having a good day. Therefore, the news that we have to break to our customers is usually bad. Out of this situation often arises the temptation to try and put a positive spin on the matter at hand.

Plain truth often proves itself to be unpalatable.

I don’t talk about hell all that often, but every so often I come in contact with someone who believes that the horror of it is just too great to accept. Perhaps your world is constantly filled with sunshine and rainbows, so I understand if your observations about life are quite different than mine.

Life tends to be tough. How on earth can we expect that there would be no unpleasant realities to be faced after this life?

Who Voted For This?

When I was a kid, I remember my dad saying on several occasions, "It's funny how the Conservatives have won back to back governments, but I don't know anyone who voted for them". Now I'm seeing a new generation saying the same old things. Who allows these unknown vagrants to vote their conscience?

I often wonder exactly who Jesus would vote for if He had a vote, although I don’t believe that we can obtain a precise answer to that question. I believe he would cast a ballot, out of his, ‘Give to Caesar…’ comment. Again, not saying that he definitely would, only that it’s a probability in my opinion.

Even though God’s kingdom is not of this world, He does care a great deal about the leadership of our world. In the Old Testament, we find two books devoted to sharing the details of political leadership in Israel. You can find them in 1st and 2nd Kings. In The New Testament, we’re told to pray for our leaders.

1 Timothy 2:1-4 (New International Version, ©2011)
1 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

I don’t know if Jesus voted for the Conservative Government. They certainly do embody at least some of what He would stand for, but there are other parties that are more focused on His concern for the poor. What we do know for sure is that God wants all people to be able to “live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.”

Whether you like the shape of our government or not, I believe we are still afforded the privilege of living peaceful and quiet lives. I believe that we still have the privilege of growing more and more like Christ. I guess if you want to live apart from Christ, you can do that too. I won’t stop you. There’s always room for one more in the pit.


When I woke up this morning, my mind was in a whirl as it thought over the events of last night’s May 2 election. There are things that I liked and things that I didn’t like. I saw Facebook status updates from friends who felt quite defeated. Perhaps you found yourself in a similar spot. What really got me grounded this morning was the time I spent in the word looking at the political landscape in Joseph’s day. It reminded me, that there are worse things. There are worse things than a right leaning government in a left leaning country. There are worse things than having a socialist government.

The people of Egypt had suffered from years of famine. They had used up their own reserves, spending all of their money buying food from the government and given away all of their livestock.

Genesis 47:18-19 (New Living Translation)
18 But that year ended, and the next year they came again and said, “We cannot hide the truth from you, my lord. Our money is gone, and all our livestock and cattle are yours. We have nothing left to give but our bodies and our land. 19 Why should we die before your very eyes? Buy us and our land in exchange for food; we offer our land and ourselves as slaves for Pharaoh. Just give us grain so we may live and not die, and so the land does not become empty and desolate.”


There are things that each of us don’t like about certain types of governance. Capitalists can’t stand the notion of communism. Liberal minded people don’t like the thoughts of living under conservative rule. Here in Egypt, the people willingly handed themselves over as servants to the government; selling their very bodies along with their land.

For me, it’s a picture of the worst kind of slave/communism. In North America, we have a very strong aversion to slavery. However, given the choice between selling themselves and death, servant hood wasn’t such a bad idea. How fortunate we are that our choices aren’t nearly as severe.

What do you think? Are there worse things than slavery? Are there worse things than a Conservative majority government? Are there worse problems than having a polarized electorate? Are there worse things than losing your seat? I believe there are.

In Christ, these tiny political games are but a temporarily necessary
diversion. Somebody has to do the job of leading this country and I’m thankful for the men and women who have stepped up to the role. I’m thankful that they are filling those necessary roles, because they give us the opportunity to live peaceful and quiet lives as we move towards godliness and holiness in Christ.

Congratulations Stephen Harper on your win. I pray that you will lead as a man after God's own heart. Congratulations Jack Layton. I hope that you fill the office of official complainer to the best of your ability. (No. That isn’t a shot at you. It’s what the opposition is supposed to do.) I feel for you Mr. Ignatieff. You seemed to do the best you could. Thank you for demonstrating your humanity last evening. Congratulations Elizabeth May. NOW I’ll be happy to watch you in the leader’s debates. As for Mr. Duceppe, I am sad for your loss.

It's Not Rocket Appliances

Dear Bob, Brett, Ben (Or whatever I have been calling you.)

I want you to know how much I appreciate your place in my life. Having your respect is one of the things that keep me motivated about my faith. We have been friends for some time haven’t we? Although we don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, I rest confidently in the knowledge that you have chosen to take on the same kind of work which beckons me. It pleases me to be able to call you my fellow worker in Christ.

I often wonder why you haven’t gotten tired of me yet. Most people do. It doesn’t take long before people realize that I remain grounded in the simple basics of the Christian faith. Few have the patience to walk with a person who seems to teach the same life lessons over and over. So I continue to thank you, and will continue to do so as long as I have the breath of life.

The Basics Are Profound
The basic truths we have in Jesus are the very foundation to every facet of life. Wonderful Christian men and women write many wonderful books on the many important areas of our walk. If you stand back and look at them for what they are, many of them are the same books, teaching the same principles merely having different applications. The same principles at work in ministry apply as much or more to parenting, as they do to marriage, as they do to our role in the workplace and so on. There is no aspect of our lives which the basics of the gospel do not apply.

The basics might sound something like this…
God sent Jesus in order to make us right with Himself.
Those who accept His gift by believing in Christ are justified by faith.
The Holy Spirit indwells all who have come to and remain in Christ.

Whether we’re talking about parenting, marriage or work ethic, it really has very little to do with adhering to what might be referred to as Christian principles. We don’t follow the ethical Jesus, the moral Jesus or the benevolent Jesus. We follow the living Jesus. That’s why, when we read the scriptures, it doesn’t sound like the Yahoo! News Feed. Paul never writes a headline, “5 Steps To A Healthy Marriage.”

Very few people are accustomed to speaking in spiritual terms. That’s why Yahoo and MSN writers need to pen their words using fleshly lingo. So we read articles that speak on the necessity of communication. We eat up books that talk about sex and the need to have fun together. Just do ‘these things’, because these are the things that happy couples do.

Up until now, I have given you very little in the way of advice, but more to do with some conversations which should take place. As for advice, here is the best I have;

Live a life which allows itself to be led by The Holy Spirit.

I’m not talking about anything freaky. I don’t really care whether or not you can speak in tongues, raise the dead or drink snake venom. I’m talking about living out a literal relationship with God the Father, through Jesus Christ, which has been sealed by The Holy Spirit. These bare bones are the very solid foundation of a life, work, ministry, marriage – WHATEVER, which is built on the rock of Christ.

The Prophecy
Please consider the very work which The Holy Spirit was promised to do.

Ezekiel 11:19 (New Living Translation)
19 And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart,

I question whether or not Ezekiel had any idea of what he was actually talking about. We have the benefit of looking back in history though the spectacles of the New Testament. This passage speaks within the context of Israel’s restoration. God promises at some future date, to put a new spirit into His people. This same spirit is available to all, indwelling those who have received Christ by faith; The Holy Spirit.

Without me walking through the passage exhaustively (which you are more than able to do for yourself), just take the time to read the passage and think on the implications for a marriage between two people who are completely led by the Spirit. Can it happen?

What would a marriage look like where the couple literally possessed this spiritual singleness of heart? What would their relationship look like if both of their hearts were consistently tender and responsive towards one another?

Part of the work of the Holy Spirit is to soften our hard, stony hearts. In order for a marriage to fail, at least one person’s heart has to turn hard towards the other. I may be wrong, but I can’t think of any failed marriages where both people were soft, tender and responsive towards the other. It might be possible, but it certainly would be a rarity.

There have been times in my marriage where I was tempted to allow my heart to harden. We weren’t arguing. There were no huge issues, but there were times, especially in the early years, where I’d get in a tiff and tell myself, “I’m not going to be affectionate to her anymore.” If I were to stay in that hard hearted state, where do you suppose it would lead?

We need to be able and willing; Able to hear God’s call when he tells us, “Hey. You’re being hard. Stubborn. Obstinate. Cold”; Willing to be softened by His Spirit.

I know you understand these truths, because I’ve heard you speak on these very things. As people, scripture often pictures us as if we are plants, producing fruit out of our nature. I encourage you to think of the people you know who live lives which are led by the Spirit. Think of the people you know who are loving, patient, kind, good and faithful. Your relationship with them is likely much different than it is with those who are characterized by jealousy, slander and gossip.

Remember, there are no guarantees, even if you hold up your end. You are not able to hold it together if the other person chooses to walk away. I hope you never have to face such a scenario. Even if this relationship comes to its conclusion, living a Holy Spirit led life is NEVER a mistake.