Where Do You Draw The Line?

This past week, a friend of mine posted a link to a website called, “Draw The Line”.

   As I take on my calling in Christ, I can smile on a lot of things.  There is one area however where I simply have been unable to budge, and because of it, I come under fire on occasion.  Sometimes I’m told that I’m some sort of morality policeman.  I can’t budge with regards to sexual immorality and as a result I often wonder if I sound like a broken record. 

  And wouldn’t you know it?  In my time in The Word for this evening, I was reading about David’s romantic interlude with Bathsheba.

  My friend’s website brought up some interesting issues.  What if your favourite pop star molests children?  Would you still buy their albums, or celebrate their accomplishments after they die?  I mean, I know it’s wrong for priests to play with little boys, but it’s okay of you’ve made a significant contribution to pop culture isn’t it?

  The website asked the question, ‘What if your sister tells you that her husband forces her to have sex?  What do you do?’  What about that? 

  I know that you’re going to do whatever you intend to do with your body.  So don’t you dare accuse me of trying to run your life, control you or judge you.  Hear me out.

   In my first book entitled, The Edge of His Cloak, I share this in the first chapter:  “If we walk through the Bible and look at God’s will for human sexuality, it would look something like this.  God expects us to remain sexually pure, until the point in time where the man and the woman leave their parents and become joined as one.”

  I can’t quite say that I’ve been sexually pure from start to finish, but my wife and I did wait for each other.  For all of my shortcomings, when my wife joined me in marriage, at least she knew that I had the self control enough to wait. 

    When I think on the issue of a husband forcing himself on his wife, it makes me sick, and I think it’s wrong.  After looking at the site, I realize that I draw the line way before the world does.  And I’m the mean morality policeman. 

  If you’re going to play with fire, that’s your business.  If you want to marry someone who has not demonstrated the ability to be faithful, patient and self controlled, why would that bother me?  I just humbly asked that you do not allow yourself to be shocked at the results.

Father of The Year (Happy Father's Day)

  I still don’t exactly know what it’s supposed to mean to be a man.  Oh.  I’ve had people tell me, and I’m sure several of you have very accurate definitions.  You read that book once.  In fact, that guy who read that book once told me what it means to be a man, but I forgot.  Since he isn’t with me every week telling me about that book he read and what it means to be a man, I don’t know if I’ll remember.  Perhaps if I read the book every week or two, I’ll eventually get it down.

  This morning, being father’s day, there was a certain excitement in our house.  You see, I’m the fun one.  It isn’t that my wife isn’t fun.  She’s just not as fun as I am.  It really isn’t a secret.  Not only am I more fun, I also like fun stuff.  And because I like fun stuff, my loving wife takes the opportunity to get me fun things.  So the whole family gets excited when I open my gifts, because everybody knows that the gifts will be the kinds of things that they will all want to play with.

   After opening my Wii Sports boxing gloves, Super Mario World for the N64, the ice cream hard chocolate shell, the can of peanuts, the free tickle coupon, the 1 day ipod use coupon and the 2000 point Wii game card, I noticed a heavier gift.  Taking the gift bag into the living room, I soon discovered it contained a SEGA Dreamcast. 

  Yay for me!

   As I went through the games which came with the system, I paid particular notice to the game ratings.  Some of the games are keepers.  I’ve already caught my first fish on the bass fishing game.  I’ll be throwing some games into the garbage, because I think they should be erased from history.

  The games I received had 3 basic ratings:  E – for everyone, T for teen, and M for mature.

  It’s funny.  In our culture, we believe that growing up seems to have something to do with getting drunk, getting laid or blowing someone’s head off.  I have to tell you, I’m not okay with that.

  Oh, I’ve gotten drunk before.  I’ve had sex a time or two as well.  I’ve never killed a person, but I do know how to use a gun and have shot my winter’s meat.  I know that very few people value my opinion, but for what it’s worth, it’s absolutely horrid that we equate growing up with the kind of things that we do.

  I don’t have a written definition of what it means to be a man, but I like to think that I have a decent picture.  If I could give you that picture, it would look a lot like a co-worker of mine named Adam.  I first met him when he was twenty years old.  He is now 26 I believe.  In the time I have known him, he has demonstrated time and again the kind of metal which should characterize much of manhood.

  Okay…He’s not perfect.  I do love pointing out his shortcomings from time to time.  Just hear me out.

  I have worked with a lot of boys in my short career.   When life demands more of us, most of us tend to complain, balk, turn to the drug, head to the bar for comfort, the hobby or throw up the flag in surrender.  As a deadline approaches on our work, many or most of us start to sweat, get frustrated, or angry as the clock ticks down.

  Men rise to the challenge.  In him, at work, as the clock winds down, he picks up his game.  As life gets harder, he pushes back even harder.  When his family needs more of him, he gives more of himself, at the sacrifice of his own comfort, rest and exercise.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he cries once on a while.  I know I would in his shoes.  What amazes me most, is that he has consistently handled life the way he has, without having had a father to model manhood before him, so I often wonder how he has learned to be the dad, husband and worker he is.  I like to think that what I see in him, is an indication that God the Father is at work in his heart.

  I’m sorry that I can’t tell you what it means to be a man.  I wish I had the definition for you so that you could tell your friends.   In this dark world, there may be a place to know how to fight, yet knowing how to smash in someone’s face isn’t what I would use as a qualifier for manhood.

  I’m sure there is a Bible study somewhere that will give you the answer.

PS  To many of the other fathers I know….I think the world of you too, but if you knew the full extent of Adam’s story, I think you’d agree that he deserves this.

What's Your Baggage?

Hi there!

It’s been a while since I’ve spoken with you in this forum. This past month has been busy for me for many reasons. Spiritually, God has been working to humble me, in a good way.

In my personal readings, I’ve been reading through 1Samuel. There is so much to be learned about leadership when we look at the life and stories of Saul and David. As much as I would like to think of myself as a David type believer, there are a lot of things that I see in my walk that remind me of Saul.

It’s not possible to express it all in a blog post, but I do want to share one aspect in particular that God has been working on in me.

Saul had already been anointed King of Israel by Samuel the prophet and the ordeal was a rather private affair. When it came time for Saul to be publicly brought forth as King, he was nowhere to be found. After wondering where Saul was, the Lord Himself revealed that, “He was hiding among the baggage.” 1Samuel 10:22

I don’t do everything wrong. I don’t think there are many, if any, people in my life who don’t know that I’m a follower of Christ. I couldn’t be much more public about what I do. As public and as open as I am about my faith, there are still ways that I hide.

When God calls us into leadership, He expects us to actually lead. I’m not going to paint a picture of what kind of roles leadership should take on. What I will say, is that there is a time to step forward and do what it is you have been anointed to do. I’ve been living out a Saul type faith, in the sense that I only step forward after being sought out.

As I live out my calling, my strategy thus far has been to simply go where I am asked to go. It keeps me pretty busy. There is also an odd kind of security that one gets, having the feeling that, “If I’m asked, it must be God.”

Coming forward without being sought out feels risky. How do I know it’s what God wants for me? Maybe it’s just me, trying to accomplish my personal version of the evangelical dream.

I’m becoming increasingly convinced that I need to ‘do something’ without being asked to do it. It’s an uncomfortable place for me to be. How do I know it’s God? Will I have enough help to accomplish the vision I have in mind? What if I fail? What if people don’t like or want it?

Stepping out doesn’t carry with it the security of having been asked. If you have been asked to do something, you know that someone wants you doing it. If you step out and do something that people have not asked you to do, you have little guarantee that anyone will want you doing what you are doing. You might even face strong opposition.

The church itself tends to be a rather precarious place to live out your faith. There are usually at least a few people there who really don’t want you to play your role in making disciples. As long as you stay quiet and help pay off the mortgage, you’ll probably get along fine. Stepping out and actually doing something might make life a little more complicated.

I don’t believe that God has anything crazy planned for me, and I don’t fear losing any friends over what I might do. As the days and weeks unfold, I hope to share with you some specifics of what I have in mind. For now, here I am. I was hiding in the baggage for a while. Here’s hoping I don’t become the tyrant that Saul was as well.

How about you? If you’ve chosen to take your stand with Jesus, who even knows? Are there ways that you remain in hiding? Maybe you have your own baggage of sorts and just can’t seem to crawl out from under it.

I’ll be glad to listen.

Why Jesus

Do you ever have people in your life who want you to add your voice to their cause? A couple of weeks ago, a woman I know of was complaining how the ‘the church’ often asks for money. Within 4 days, she was trying to get me to come out to her own personal fund raiser. And she thinks I’m a hypocrite.

I am surrounded by many noble people who tout many worthy causes, and I often wonder if they think I’m cold when I don’t jump on their wagon. Although He isn’t a cause per se, I’ve chosen Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:54-56
New International Version (NIV)
54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”


You see, I’m one of THOSE Christians. I’m among the few who believe that Jesus has beaten death itself, and if we want, through Him, we have access to the same victory.

It’s not that this life isn’t important. If you follow the life of Jesus through the Gospels, you’ll find that he cared very much for the earthly needs of those around Him. So I give money on occasion to things like MS and heart and stroke research.

However, I believe in a God who has the solution for death itself. I feel pretty good when I help out with jump rope for heart. I’d feel awesome if my contribution helped to save a life, but that’s kind of the crux of the matter. In worldly terms, there really is no such thing as saving a person’s life. At best, medically speaking, it’s a temporary postponement of the inevitable.

The world really isn’t embracing the message that I carry, but if by being faithful, I can be a part of the salvation of but one person, literally and for all eternity, I think that’s big. If on the off chance I’ve been wrong, I’ve probably still contributed more to charity and medical research than most people.

For me, the day is coming when I'll shed this body of death, and put on an imperishable body. If there is a chance that I can be instrumental in helping others into making that leap of faith, I'm going to pursue it. People will go under the knife having a fifty percent chance of living, if only to gain another 10 years or so. If there is the slightest chance that Jesus has really defeated death, once, for all time and it's offered freely to us, why such resistance in this world? We're not talking about another ten, 15 or even 100 years. Were talking about forever here.


As in most things, I’m prepared to be wrong in this matter. Are you?

Difficult Blessings

Good evening. I'm about to try an experiment. I've been reading the writings of a young blogger named Margaret Neufeld for over a year now. I have often pondered the idea of having another writer sharing my space here on Blue Collar Christianity, so this is kind of a test. Maybe this should be my show, and my show alone. So please let me know what you think, and if you'd like to see more from her.

Personally, I think her heart and authenticity fit well with what I hope to see on this blog. You be the judge.

If you want to hear more from her, feel free to find her at her own site at

http://histhrone.blogspot.ca

Difficult Blessings

About two weeks ago, I was going through a difficult experience, as I detailed in my last post. In that time, I was reminding myself of the cross, what Jesus had done for me, and my great need for God. It was hard. And although it was hard, I was thankful for the experience in that I was learning my need for God in that time.

Well, that difficult experience got better. My problems that were causing me grief got worked out. I was more than happy to thank God for His grace and move forward. I had, however, not learned my great need for God in the way I thought I had. While I had seen it in one area of my life, I had forgotten it in another. In the following days, I found myself wandering in my mind and seeking my own amusement. It was fun and I was happy. I did notice though that I didn't feel the need to spend the time in prayer as I had in recent days. I shrugged off the thoughts that I allowed to linger and became increasingly relaxed toward sin. Pushed it aside, thinking it really wasn't a big deal. Looking back, I was rather alarmed at what passed through me at that time.

Four days. Four days was all it took for this to transpire. Four days from knowing my need for God in one area and ignoring it another and wanting to go my own way. Looking back though, I know it didn't in actuality happen in just four days. Compromise and sin rarely happen overnight. It starts with tiny seeds that go unchecked. It starts with that thought I know I should shut out but allow to linger a little longer. It's a slow, yet very quick process when I let my guard against sin down a little, just a little bit more each time.

And then I'm left wondering what happened as I find yourself sitting in filth once again, the mess I thought was a part of the past. I wonder why I feel distant from God when only a few days earlier I so keenly felt the nearness of His presence.

But in the time I was going through this, I felt another strange feeling come over me. I wanted to utter a strange prayer. I wanted to welcome difficulty into my life, because I knew it was often what kept me close to God. It was the exact opposite of how I used to respond, when I turned away from God in hard times. I know now that when life is breezy and I can go about amusing myself, I wander from Him. I wander from purity and holiness. I wander from the principles I believe in and begin to wonder if I should cast them aside. I wander to ugly places and begin to become comfortable there again. I never thought I would wish for life to become harder.

I have to come to God in repentance again, seeking Christ's power over sin. I have to ask Him again to instill within me His desire for holiness. I have to keep my focus on Him that I may continue on the narrow way. I have to let the hard times keep me close to Him and not forget that when circumstances gets easier.

The difficult times we often go through can actually be blessings. They don't feel that way at the time, but they are. It's then that we grow and experience the nearness of God, when we know we need His strength for every step. We forget that otherwise. So next time you're going through a difficult time where you have to fall before the throne of grace at least ten times a day, be thankful that it's keeping you close to Him. And remember to stay close to Him when He lifts you up to higher ground.

(By the way, before this post was even published, I had a difficult day where three specific events caused me much frustration. I was not thrilled and it was hard to be thankful. But I had to remind myself that it was what I had wished for, bring my frustration before God, try to learn from my mistakes and move on. Be careful what you pray for.)

Posted by Margaret Neufeld at 5:03 PM

Waiting for ME to Die

Single’s Awareness Day lands on the same day every year: Feb 14th. Many people also refer to it as Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t meant to be a day which brings to mind the ways some of us feel alone, but it does. It is meant to be a day to celebrate romance, but if you listen, you’ll often hear the voice of someone who doesn’t like the day because it makes them feel alone. How come?

There is a disease that infects pretty much everyone I know. It’s called, “ME”. It’s all about ME. Whatever you think, do or say, somehow has this mystical bearing on MY life. I’m told that people of other faiths often have feelings of being left out when they are in the presence of a Christmas tree. I’ve often wondered why that would be. I really don’t feel left out of Hanukah or Ramadan. I want no part in those kinds of celebrations. So why would a decorative tree make someone feel left out? Now it occurs to me. They’re infested with ME.

I’m not trying to portray myself as a spiritual giant so I’ll share my personal brand of ME in a minute or two.

As my wife and I raise our family, there are a few things that we have chosen to do quite differently than the way our parents raised us. I don’t want to dishonour our mothers or fathers, so I won’t mention which parent or parents I’m speaking about. Whenever we choose to do things differently, there is usually at least one parent who takes issue with our choices. The general response tends to sound something like this; “When you do things differently, it makes me feel like I did it wrong the way I raised you.” They’ve got ME too. Our choices as parents rarely have anything to do with them, yet somehow, the same ME black magic works its wonder.

In Mark 14, Jesus shares this with His disciples during His last meal with them;

“All of you will desert me. For the scriptures say, ‘God will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ But after I am raised from the dead, I will go ahead of you to Galilee and meet you there.” Mark 14:27-28

Think on that for a moment. Suppose that the most important person in your life just told you these words. ‘I’m going to die, and everyone will desert me.’ It’s really supposed to be about Jesus. How horrible! Man, he’s going to face death all alone. Wouldn’t this moment be a time for some empathy? It would, were it not for Peter’s ME.

“Peter said to Him, ‘Even if everyone else deserts you, I never will.’” Mark 14:29

So much for the sympathy. From Peter’s perspective, all he saw was his place in it.

I’m getting sick of ME lately, to the point where I notice every time I refer to myself, and the worst part is, I can’t help but think and talk about ME. I’m doing it right now. It really came to the forefront this week after reading a link from one of my friends on my facebook.

It was an article written by another guy named Kevin. As I read his article, much of it sounded strikingly familiar to some of the content in Alien Love. I sat at my computer screen, ready to send a link to the pages in my book that had made the same statement and had been written years before.

See! This article you’ve linked to, it’s not so hot. Look! I wrote the same thing three years ago, and you’re not asking your friends to read MY writing.

Every time I hear a pastor or an author refer to a topic that I have studied, spoken or written on before, I feel obliged to let them know, “I wrote a letter on that.” In my mind, it’s as if I should hold some kind of licence over the topic, and anyone else who speaks on the matter is stealing my spotlight.

I’m sure you’re not infected with ME to the extent that I am. There might be a place for ME. If I stopped talking about ME, then I’d have to preach at YOU and spend MY time worrying about YOUR sins. The thought of harping on YOUR sins is quite pleasurable, but YOU rarely share your true depravity with me.

Just so you know, I never sent the link from my book. She doesn’t need to know that I wrote on the topic before. I hope I can interpret my actions as an indication that I’m gaining victory over ME. Perhaps I can begin to rejoice that I’m not the only guy who loves Christ.

Enough of ME. How about YOU? Is life all about YOU? Do YOUR conversations always have to do with YOU? How do YOU feel on Valentine’s day if YOU’RE single? How do YOU feel when YOUR friends are celebrating something YOU aren’t a part of? How do YOU respond when YOUR kids choose a different life? Is it about YOU, or can you let it be about them? How do YOU respond when someone runs with an idea that YOU came up with first?

How about in a general conversation? If you’re talking with a friend who went to Cuba, do you feel obligated to share about YOUR trip to Cuba? What if we just got past ourselves, and could actually be a people who listened well to each other and stopped turning the conversation over to OUR lives? There is an intimacy which awaits us, if only we could crawl out from our own little world.

If you prefer to keep your ME, do you really want to follow Jesus anyway? I think we’re supposed to deny ourselves. (Or something like that)

Does Prayer "Work"?

My wife and I are teaching grade 1 Sunday school for the month of April. As always, we were about to begin the class in prayer when one of the boys exclaimed, “But I already prayed today”. I always appreciate the kind of honesty that comes from the mouth of a child. Instead of chastising the lad, I asked the class how they would feel if their best friend ever told them, “I don’t want to talk to you right now, because I already talked to you today.”

They thought it was funny.

I’m not sure why, but I get laughed at a lot. Whether it’s a curse or a blessing, I’m not entirely sure. I don’t mind being a Christian court jester of sorts, so long as I have the opportunity to be used for the glory of God.

Whether we’re as forthcoming as the boy or not, I often have the sense that we tend to carry a lot of misconceptions about prayer. Well, I do anyway. Have you ever considered praying for something and asking yourself the question, “Will it work?” Does prayer ‘work’? On different occasions, I’ve heard other believers say that prayer ‘works’.

What is behind that statement? If I say that prayer ‘works’, what am I communicating? Tell me if I’m way off base. When we ask whether or not prayer ‘works’, the question we’re really asking tends to look more like this: “Will I get what I ask for?”

I’m a big “Prayer Works” kind of guy, although I don’t believe we always get what we ask for. My kids are using the DVD player right now. It plays DVD’s. It works. When I say that it works, I mean that it plays DVD’s. So when I say that prayer works, I’m saying that when we pray we really are communicating with God. ‘Prayer’ and ‘asking’ aren’t supposed to be synonymous.

Overall, I’m really not convinced that we as believers really appreciate the relationship we have with the Father through Christ our Lord. Prayer tends to be more of an obligation than an opportunity than a direct line to the Supreme Being of the entire universe.

I don’t set the standard for an acceptable prayer life. However, as a family, we do make time each evening to read the Bible together, talk about our lives and to pray. We have prayed for a lot of things as a family. Some of the things that we have asked for have been answered kindly. We really believe that God has healed some of our loved ones and brought us through some significant trials. There have been many things that we have asked for where God said “No”. We have lost friends to cancer, and watched as marriages fell apart despite our pleading.

As a family, we’ve gathered around to pray over each other for many things; from sickness, weird fleshly growths to hearing voices. I asked them this week, “What would it be like to grow up in a family that doesn’t pray for you?” My twin boys were the ones to respond.

The first said, “It would be like I wasn’t loved.”

The second followed saying, “It would feel so alone.”

I’m not here to check up on your prayer life. I’m here to ask the question, “Did it work?”

PS Actually...I kind of like when I make people laugh.