For My Newlyweds (Also Some Decent Dating Advice)

  I would much rather be in Calgary today, but apparently, I was needed here. A close personal friend of mine is leaving soon to pastor a church in Manitoba and today his church held kind of a farewell service in his honour. I think I needed to be there for him. I was also asked if I would return to speak in a couple of weeks. I think ghetto grandma was right. ;-)


  I have however spent much of my day thinking about my friend and her wedding. As we’ve done our best to celebrate here in Port Burwell, my wife and I have been reminiscing together on our own wedding. We pulled out our wedding and honeymoon pictures and showed them to the kids. Our children thought it was quite hilarious to see that I used to have hair.

  In fact, most of this weekend has been devoted to romance of one kind or another. Last evening, we watched Pride and Prejudice as a family. Much of our discussion around the home lately has revolved around courtship, marriage and affection.

  Normally, when I tell stories about myself, I like to use illustrations where I play the villain. There are however some parts of my life where I remain steadfast in believing that I actually did something right. I was never the sort of guy that girls seemed to swoon over, and I’m quite thankful that I have been made that way. When I was going out with Barb, my parents used to even criticize me.

“Why don’t you do more nice things for her? You should buy her flowers or something.”

They really didn’t seem to like the response that I gave them.

“I don’t want to do things now, that I don’t think I’ll end up doing for her later on in life.”

  Yeah. I could have done more for her then. There were many things that I could have changed in order to try and win the woman who had caught my affection. Of course, my parents were right from a certain point of view. Had Barb have been a different kind of woman, had she have been the kind of person who needed flowers or candle lit dinners, I might have lost her.

  However, what would be worse? Would it be worse to lose such a person in the early stages? Or would it be worse to live a life of disappointment after the flowers and candle lit dinners turn into babies, diapers and mortgage payments?

  If you’ve lost that girl or that guy, it might seem like the end of your world. There are worse things than losing the girl, although popular culture might beg to differ.

Proverbs 21:19

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

  Much of what I see in North American dating is merely a romantic form of deception. We put on a good face and we do things that we really can’t do, or don’t intend to do over the long haul. So as husbands and wives, we often live in disappointment because, “He doesn’t do that for me anymore”.

“All those things that you used to do, that made me fall in love with you”

These words come from Brad Paisley’s song, Remind Me, with Carrie Underwood.

  I’ve done a lot of things wrong in life, as well as in my marriage, but as Barb and I reflect on our lives together, there are few (if any) things that cause us to say, “You don’t do that for me anymore.” There are no guarantees for what tomorrow might bring for us, but as for thus far, after 15 years, it continues to get better and better.

  To my young friend; congratulations on your wedding day. It can be good. It can be very good. I pray that you experience all the fullness that this relationship has to offer. The piece of paper has little to do with your actual marriage, but there are legal implications for marriage in this country. So sign it. I’m glad that you didn’t get raptured before today. Enjoy today. Enjoy tonight. ;-) Enjoy the rest of your lives. Continue to walk together in Christ. As wonderful as today has been, I pray that it is but a shadowy reflection of what lies ahead.




Love Kevin