A New Spiritual Gift?

Pop Quiz;

So what do you do when a fellow believer does or says something wrong?

A) Gossip behind their back, complaining about the things they have done.
B) Write a blog, exposing them to public shame and disgrace.
C) Tell the leadership of their church and demand that disciplinary action be taken.
D) Approach them personally to discuss the issue at hand.

I once asked this question to a group of people. I asked them to answer from two perspectives. First off, I asked them how we tend to respond as Christians. Most of them admitted that we tend to gossip and complain about the offense.

I then asked them, what is the right answer? They picked ‘D’.

In my mind, it’s becoming increasingly popular to trash people via the internet. The way that we handle doctrinal issues has become an extension of the world. You see it all the time in the headlines don’t you? “This GUY, Trashes that WOMAN”. Rebuking someone publicly using the world wide web has become a tool that allows us to act every bit as worldly as our favourite celebrities.

Matthew 18:15-17
New International Version (NIV)
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

I’m not going to write a blog on a complete procedure for discipline. What I do want to share, is that subjecting a fellow believer to public scrutiny(or even a non-believer for that matter) should have little place in our faith.

Rather than complaining behind their back, writing an article or taking it up with the elders, we’re called to bring our concerns directly to the person in question. We don’t do that very often. Do we? Why not? Is it because we’re biblically illiterate? Is it because we haven’t earned the right to speak into their lives? Is it because we don’t even know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who knows them? Is it fear?

We are called first to approach the person personally. Jesus didn’t come to earth to make us better citizens, teach us theology or to fight drug abuse. He came to seek and to save the lost. He came to bring us into a right relationship with The Father. Part of that plan involves us actually loving each other. Think about it. If you are headed down the wrong path, how would you prefer to have it addressed? Do you want some person you’ve never met trashing you on their blog space? Do you want your church to hold a secret meeting about how to discipline you? Do you prefer that people would gossip behind you back? Do you want them to write a book which argues against your book? Or would you rather hear the words from someone who knows you, someone who cares about you and is genuinely concerned about your well being?

As for me, I prefer the way of Christ. Sometimes, I wonder if public fault finding is a new spiritual gift for the 21st century. I am so thankful for the few men and women of faith who have confronted me with things that weighed heavily on their hearts. I’m thinking specifically of two women in particular from my old church. I remember their tone and their posture. I remember the look in their eyes; that look where I knew they were almost afraid to say anything to me. That very same expression carried with it a measure of care and compassion.

I pray that you are surrounded by people who care enough to rebuke you in the same way. I pray that we’ll all refrain from turning our sins and disagreements into a public spectacle.