Grow Up.

More For My Friend Who is in a ‘Relationship’

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
1Corinthians 13:11

This portion of Scripture wasn’t written within the context of marriage, but there is something at work here in Paul’s words that weigh in on some of life’s most precious relationships. No doubt you have realized that high school is over. You aren’t a kid anymore. Unfortunately, just because we’ve lived beyond our puberty years, doesn’t mean that we have actually grown up to the point where we are able to hold up our own end of a married relationship.

It isn’t that we aren’t allowed to have fun anymore. There is a place for fun. There is also a place for being child-like, even as a believer in Christ. In fact, Jesus Himself said, “the kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14

There are aspects of being a child that we need to hang on to as believers. There are others however that need to go and Paul mentions 3 of them. 1 Our Speech, 2 Our thinking, and 3 Our reasoning.

Most of the time, popular culture portrays men as little more than grown up babies. Unfortunately, many of us deserve the caricature. It’s pretty tough to make a list or a summary of the thoughts and attitudes that we need to let go of. Perhaps if you rent the American Pie dvd’s you might get an idea of what childish behavior looks like. No. I’m really not recommending it.

As you press on towards marriage, perhaps a good question to address both individually and as a couple might be this;

“In what ways do each of you need to grow up?”

As for me, I’m still growing up. There are times that I really don’t want to do what I know needs to be done. I’d rather spend some time with my own entertainment than to have a go at the honey do list that my wife has made up. The baby in me wants to cry and whine about it, but the man should be ready to take personal responsibility for his own tasks.

Invariably, if you are going to be joined as one, there will be some things that have to go. How selfish are you? To what extent are each of you willing to put the needs of the other first? Christian marriage isn’t a partnership. The two have to function as one. In order for that to actually happen, the both of you will have to function as if you are one person. It won’t work so long as each or either of you wants to continue living the teenaged dream.

It is a very sad thing to see grown men and women who really haven't grown up. People who hide when it's time to take action. People who run when it's time to stand. People who turn to the drug instead of standing tall. People who shop when it's time to save. I don't want those phrases to describe me. If you are the person I remember, then neither do you.

Love Kevin