Thursday. Sept 29, 2011.

I often wonder why God has me do the things that I do. As far as my writing goes, I don’t even pretend to have some inside track or insight into the person of Jesus or the truths of the Gospel. That’s what writers are supposed to do aren’t they? Aren’t they supposed to bring to life an aspect of Jesus that the rest of the world has missed? Aren’t they supposed to highlight some grand deficiency within the church and point the way out of the mess? I have never pretended to write or to say anything that has not been said or thought of before. I am sure that you have had many original thoughts yourself.

Even though I haven’t set myself up to start that special denomination which has sole proprietorship of the “true faith”, God still see fit for some reason to keep me employed in His service. This Thursday evening I’ll be teaching our church’s men’s Bible study at 7:00pm.

Without fail, every time I speak, I often ask myself the question, “Do I still have it?”

I am neither trained nor schooled as a speaker. I do get the odd opportunity, but it’s normally months between engagements, so I wouldn’t even say that I am practiced. Maybe God is done with me as a speaker or teacher. There are other aspects of my calling that have fallen by the wayside over time, so how do I know for certain whether or not the same won’t happen for me as a speaker?

If I was trained, at least if I was empty on the inside, I could fake it. I could still put on a decent performance. As it is, if my heart runs cold, I know I’ll probably fall flat on my face. This begs the question:

“Would I want the ability to fake it?”

If I was dead on the inside, would I even want to have the appearance of one who is standing firm in Christ? I think I’d rather fall. I’d rather embarrass myself than to give off the impression of being something that I’m not.

So if you’re a guy, and you are considering coming to Faith this Thursday evening, please don’t come with any expectations because I don’t know what to expect myself. If you’re wanting a heads up on what we’ll be covering, here is a link to the notes that I’ll be speaking from.

Hope to see you there.