Married Life

I don’t expect you to believe me. On the two occasions when I shared this passage, my hearers fought with me. So why should you be any different?

Wisdom is proven right by her actions. You may find very little which is admirable in the marriage that I enjoy with my wife. For my part however, I can’t imagine it being better, although I do acknowledge that it’s possible.

A good friend of mine is getting married this weekend, so my thoughts are naturally revolving around marriage. It is my intent for this week to post a few thoughts on the union between a man and a woman.

The passage that often comes to mind wasn’t even written within the context of marriage, but to me at least, it captures what should be the sentiment behind an amazing marriage. These words were actually spoken from a woman to her mother-in-law.

Luke 1:16

16 ... "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

Without delving too much into the context of the passage, please just follow me as I look at what might be the kind of commitment between the person who spoke these words, and the one who received them. These words were spoken by a woman named Ruth, and her devotion to her mother in law could be summarized into the main commitments.

1 Go Where You Go, Live Where You Live

2 Your People Will be My People

3 Your God will be My God

Being Together

Yeah. I think married people should actually be together. I have no idea of why I seem to fight for this when I have gotten into conversations over the matter. I suppose this is my freakish hobby horse. Now, I know we can’t ALWAYS be together. We have jobs to go to. Sometimes our careers demand that we travel. Some people seem to need alone time on occasion, and solitude can be a good thing.

If you are old enough to drive a car, don’t tell me that you haven’t heard of couples where one person is gone all of the time, and strangely enough, the other one is rarely enthused. Maybe you’re trapped in a career where you have little choice. When you’re done, are you really done? When you’re off, are you together? Are you together when you are able, or do you have other things that you really want to do in your life? If you really are trapped in a life away from each other, buy and iphone and use face-time every night.

How about when it comes to holidays? What do you do? Does it really matter where you go, or is the objective to really just be together? My wife and I just want to be together. We don’t try to be together because the Bible says so, or because it will help our marriage. We like each other, so we want to be where the other person is.

The Same People

Run in the same crowds. Again, if you’ve graduated from puberty, this shouldn’t be a newsflash. It’s almost kind of sad in a marriage where each person has completely separate friends. There is a place for us to find encouragement on occasion by going out with the guys or the girls.

I had a conversation with a young man a while back, and it’s a conversation I’ve had with several people.

“She spends a lot of time going out with these other guys. It’s not that I think it’s wring or anything, so I don’t want her to feel bad about it. I guess I’m fine with it. It just gets to me sometimes.”

I’m not trying to run your life. Do what you want. The fellow in the conversation told me that he was fine with it, but one does not have to be a psychologist to know that he really wasn’t fine with it. Or have you known wives who get tired of waiting for their husbands to come home after a night out with the boys?

In my marriage, we run in the same crowds. It isn’t something we do intentionally, but it kind of flows out of the fact that primarily, we go where the other person goes. We go where the other one goes, because we like each other. And since we’re with each other most of the time, we can’t help but be around the same people.

Your God Will be My God

I guess it’s possible for non-Christians to have good marriages. There is a kind of spiritual unity however that is only available to individuals who are filled with the same Spirit. It’s pretty tough to be completely intimate with someone who really doesn’t share your heart.

For believers, there is a dynamic at work which goes beyond sharing a common interest. The same Spirit who lives in me, lives in my wife. The same Spirit that speaks to my heart when I’m in prayer or in The Word also speaks to her. The same Spirit that is at work in me, making me more like Christ, is doing the very same work in her.

Just because you’ve married a Christian, doesn’t mean that each of you are equally receptive or obedient to the leading of The Holy Spirit. What I do want to share is this: God is not schizophrenic. He’s not confused. The challenge is finding two people who are equally attentive and receptive to His leading in their lives. It’s an uncommon kind of love, but I tell you, it can be absolutely glorious.

Fight me if you want. Yes I know. There are couples who rarely see each other and stay married. There are couples who live completely separate lives and they are good with it. There are couples who do not share the Living God as their God and they enjoy life. Still, if this kind of commitment between a mother and daughter-in-law is worthy of praise, how much more a marriage?