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“HeyKev! Did you hear that they managed to stop the well in the gulf from spewing oil?”

“Really?” I asked.

Immediately my boss replied, “Yeah. They put a wedding ring around it and it stopped pumping right away.”

I smiled and put on a timid chuckle, even though I hadn’t really found it to be all that humorous. It was a joke which was told to him by one of the guys from St. Thomas Ford. It was a joke that many people found to be rather hilarious. I’m thinking that it’s funny to a lot of people, because behind that joke lies a certain truth for those who enjoy the jest.

I am led to believe, that for many couples, the wedding ring does reduce the pumping. I say that because of the many jokes that I hear to that effect. Other conversations come to mind as well. I remember past coworkers saying, “Once I put that wedding ring on her finger, the door slammed shut.” In popular culture I have watched sitcom episodes where the romance dries up. Last year while in Niagara Falls with my family I remember seeing this young man wearing a red T-Shirt. On his shirt were a picture of a bride and a groom, holding hands. Under their picture read this caption, “Game Over!”

I have done a lot of things wrong in my life, so don’t allow this to lead you to believe me any better than I am. For me however, my experience has been quite different. Although far from perfection, when Barb and I put on our respective rings, that’s when our lives of intimacy began. Among my many regrets in life, waiting for each other isn’t among them.

Wondering if my experience in unique, I have asked a couple of godly men in my life if their experience has been the same. Tuesday evening I asked one in particular and his experience has been much like my own. “Kevin. It’s funny. Even after 14 years, you continue to learn new things about each other.” That’s when I cut him off. I really didn’t want him to elaborate. I really don't want to know what kind of 'new things' he's been learning in bed. As I am certain that you don’t want me to elaborate either.

I wonder if this is part of the reason why marriage in the heterosexual realm is viewed as being little more than a piece of paper. For many, marriage is the end of the story. In fact, is that not how many story books find their conclusion? ‘And they lived happily ever after’. Nothing important happens after that. The story is over. The game is over. The glory days are behind you. You have nothing left to do but to drink yourself silly, mourning on how your best days are left behind you in college or in high school. Your life is over, and the best that you can do is to raise kids, coach their soccer team and hope that they can grasp the life that you have left behind.

If you are a young couple who is getting married, or has just tied that knot, I want you to know that everything you’ve went through has been to prepare you for the life that you will forge as one. The life that you live together will determine the legacy that you leave behind. As I have said before; This isn’t game over, it’s game on. Your story book is just beginning; Opening with the words, “I do.”

For those of you who are single, I know it’s a meat grinder out there. I really wouldn’t want to be in your shoes these days. I know it’s tough and you might be tempted to think of giving up on striving for any kind of sexual purity. I want to remind you, that living like the world really isn’t all that glamorous. For many (not all), the well does stop pumping once the ring is slipped on. I’ve never promised you an easy road, in fact, it is supposed to be narrow and it is supposed to be tough. I pray that you are tough enough and patient enough to endure.

For those of you who are married, I hope that you have found it to be one of the most rewarding relationships in your life, second only to your relationship with the Saviour. If it isn’t, I want you to know that there is a way to overcome your past, and I’m certain that it can only be found through Jesus Himself. I am thinking of one of you in particular and even though your mistakes have carried their issues into your married life, you seem to be discovering how He really can erase the sins of your past when you recognize them and allow His power to have His way. I am so happy for you and your husband and the new life that you are forging together once more.

Sexual sin is a serious thing. Serious enough that God used to have people killed for it. We don’t kill fornicators or adulterers anymore, but if we have no intention of dealing with the sexual immorality in our lives, we don’t belong in the church. You might as well drink blood. I like the way Paul put it to the people in Corinth, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” 1Corinthians 6:18

Run! When I think of those of you who are married, one of my greatest hopes is that you would be faithful to each other. I like when our families get together as families. If there are situations in your life that draw you away from your spouse, run away. Run as if it were a snake or something scurrying under the cupboard. Run to Jesus and run to the one who shares your bed.

If I could summarize my hope for those who are married, it would be this;

“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19