The Case Against Public Ridicule

A few of my friends on Facebook posted a link to Ellen DeGeneres’ YouTube video this week. In it, Ellen made a heartfelt plea against bullying. She was refereeing specifically to a Tyler Clementi, whose roommate posted a video of him having sex with his male partner online.

I often take a bit of time to process these kinds of things. In fact, I really didn’t know what to think at all in the moment. I couldn’t tell if Ellen was speaking out against bullying in general or if she was just speaking in reference to the gay community. People tend to be a rather cruel creature and we do tend to pick on those who seem to make the best targets. Facial abnormalities are always good for a good laugh. If she’s speaking out on bullying in general, I’m with her. Even if she’s merely telling us NOT to record our gay roommate having sex and post it on the internet, I’m still with her, although, I’d take the fight beyond the box of human sexuality.

It has only been within the last year that the Lord has dealt with me about having fun at the expense of another. Growing up, I was about as cruel as any other boy. By myself, I really didn’t hurt anyone much, but place me in a group, and I felt quite free to taunt whichever person seemed to be the weakest. It might have been the new kid, just having moved in from Mexico who could barely speak English. They were always fair game. The handicapped were always great to have fun at their expense as well. Fortunately (or unfortunately), we didn’t have any homosexuals to make fun of. Although, we would tease each other and call each other queer.

For whatever reason, God never struck me dead. So I grew up and grew out of it. Or so I thought. Then came Karl. Karl was the new guy at work. He was taller than I was. He had more hair than I did. He had more tool boxes than I did. He had military training and had taken karate, which I had none of. So I unconsciously did what I thought I had to do. I frequently made fun at his expense. When you cut other people down, it makes you feel taller. Doesn’t it work that way?

As I worked my way through Proverbs, I came across this passage,

Proverbs 12:18 (New Living Translation)
18 Some people make cutting remarks,
but the words of the wise bring healing.

And then the thought occurred to me, ‘Even though I think I’m doing this all in good fun, maybe Karl doesn’t see it that way.’ The next day, I made a point of talking to him and asked,

“Karl. Does it bother you when I make jokes at your expense?”

“Yes Kevin. It does.”

I really had believed that it was all in good fun, but the way that I was treating him really did bother him. It didn’t shake him to the core or push him to jump off of a bridge, but he really didn’t want me doing it. So I stopped.


Today I’ve been thinking more of young Tyler and the kind of shame he must have felt. To be honest with you, there are scenes in my life, that if they had been caught and posted online, I wouldn’t want to face the world either. I’m sure that most of you are better than me, but as for me, my shame really isn’t much different than Tyler’s.

That’s the amazing thing about God’s love. Even though He saw me, even though He caught me on tape and saw me in the darkest parts of my life, He chose to demonstrate love to me. He sent His only Son to literally bear my shame; being subjected to public ridicule, mockery, torture and execution. Whenever I hear the word, ‘shame’, there are certain scenes of my life that come to mind. Jesus has both watched, and bore them all. I don’t have to jump off of a bridge to try and escape the humiliation of my past. My crimes were punished and paid for in full on the cross. I wish that Tyler could have discovered that truth. Of course, even if I had known him, I don’t know if I could have articulated these things clearly enough for him or if he would even want to surrender his cares to Jesus anyway. If you have your own personal demons, perhaps this can help you.

Now that I’ve been made right with the Father, there is another kind of ridicule that I endure, but it really isn’t so bad. The world still loves to make fun of believers. Just watch a few episodes of South Park or The Family Guy. If you’re discerning, you know what I mean. If we talk too much about Jesus, they might even kill us. Not that it will get much media attention. And not that we're looking for it.

Most of the people I work with respect me and my faith well enough. I’m thankful that those who do make fun of me do so behind my back. I find out, but it’s easier to handle well after the fact. In a weird kind of way, I’m thankful to be made fun of. It’s different than being ridiculed for some humiliating act. Instead, it’s kind of a compliment. If I live in a world that hated and killed Jesus, then maybe in a small way, it’s evidence that I really do belong to Him.