Accepting Criticism

How well do you handle criticism? As for me, I really don’t handle it very well. When I come in contact with anyone who is critical of what I say or do, I tend to curl up in a little ball and have a pity party. If the criticism comes from someone who is more ‘conservative’ than I am, I grumble to myself and complain about what legalist they are. If the criticism comes from someone who is more ‘liberal’ than I am, I just get upset and try to reassure myself in that they are likely going to hell anyway.

How about you? Before I went up north hunting last week, I read a story about a lady whose son dressed up as a girl for Halloween. That would likely have went over alright in a public school setting, but her son happened to go to a Christian school. A few mom’s at the school expressed ‘concern’ over her son’s choice in costumes. So mom did what any other Christian mom would do. In her frustration, she wrote a lengthy blog, praising her son for having rocked his girly costume and charging her fellow mother’s as trying to bully her and her son.

I’m walking a fine line here. Our communities are at times a place where we abuse one another and try to force our personal convictions on the other. At the same time, there has to be something within us that is willing to listen to and consider the criticism brought before us. If you are familiar with this story of David, it will make more sense to you….

2 Samuel 16:5-13 (New Living Translation)
Shimei Curses David
5 As King David came to Bahurim, a man came out of the village cursing them. It was Shimei son of Gera, from the same clan as Saul’s family. 6 He threw stones at the king and the king’s officers and all the mighty warriors who surrounded him. 7 “Get out of here, you murderer, you scoundrel!” he shouted at David. 8 “The LORD is paying you back for all the bloodshed in Saul’s clan. You stole his throne, and now the LORD has given it to your son Absalom. At last you will taste some of your own medicine, for you are a murderer!”
9 “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king?” Abishai son of Zeruiah demanded. “Let me go over and cut off his head!”
10 “No!” the king said. “Who asked your opinion, you sons of Zeruiah! If the LORD has told him to curse me, who are you to stop him?”
11 Then David said to Abishai and to all his servants, “My own son is trying to kill me. Doesn’t this relative of Saul[a] have even more reason to do so? Leave him alone and let him curse, for the LORD has told him to do it. 12 And perhaps the LORD will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of these curses today.” 13 So David and his men continued down the road, and Shimei kept pace with them on a nearby hillside, cursing as he went and throwing stones at David and tossing dust into the air.

In a strategic move, David and his men are leaving Jerusalem, as Absalom is on his way to take by force the throne of Israel from his father. While David is leaving, he is greeted with insults from this man Shimei. As we read the whole story, the curses hurled at David aren’t quite true. Shimei claims that David stole Saul’s throne and that God is paying him back. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it was God who took the throne from Saul and gave it to David.

David’s men respond by threatening to cut of Shimei’s head. Why not? David didn’t steal Saul’s throne. In fact, David had the opportunity to kill Saul himself, but had spared Saul’s life. Off with Shimei’s head. Complain to the pastor. Write a nasty blog in defiance. Stand up for yourself man!

David’s response is anything but human. ‘Let him curse me, for God told him to do it.’ There is no anger. There is no resentment or indignation. How many of us respond that way when we are criticized?

I know a couple who used to go be a part of a local Christian community. They were an active part of the church until someone shared their mind saying that perhaps the couple wore a little too much jewelry. So they did what any other responsible Christian would do. They left and found a church that told them the kinds of things that they wanted to hear.

When we’re criticized, there has to be a part of us which is willing to consider that the curses might be coming from God. We should be able to rest well enough in our relationship with Him, that if we are being wrongfully accused, that He will defend and bless us for our endurance.

Now, this isn’t making an excuse for nagging others into forced subjection. If we’ve voiced our ‘concerns’, unless it’s on SOLID biblical ground, we need to let it go and let them wear a ring on every finger.

I’ll be honest with you. I have a really hard time with this. I’m often afraid to publish some of my blogs and cartoons because I know that they might cut a little too deep. I just don’t want to hit that button that receives any criticism. Let’s face it, none of us like hearing things that go against what we currently believe. Whether we like a message or not isn’t supposed to be the concern; we’re supposed to be concerned with accepting the truth, whether or not it sounds agreeable to us.

2 Timothy 4:3
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.

We’re supposed to be willing to listen to sound teaching, whether we like the sound of it or not. There is a tendency for us to gather under teachers who tell us what we like to hear and it’s a sin that can be committed from either end of the theological spectrum. Perhaps the people around us are not supposed to approve of what we do or not do in the first place. Like Shimei, maybe God has put an objector in our life’s path for the very purpose of pronouncing a curse. The objections that come our way are either legitimate or they are not. If they are legitimate, then hopefully we have listened. If they are not legitimate, then we can expect to eventually be vindicated by our heavenly Father. Either way, if we are His, and if we’ll endure, we win.

I’m hoping that as I grow in the Lord, that I’ll be more willing to stand on His word and be willing to take objection in the process. I can confidently claim that I do say what I believe I need to say, but I do so with the constant fear of rejection. Hopefully I’ll grow out of that.

As for how much jewelry a Christian is ‘allowed’ to wear, I don’t know. I don’t know how many trips you are ‘allowed’ to take to Disney World either. How many video games am I allowed to have? Is there a number? Or course, if you are thinking of dressing up like the opposite sex, I won’t give you my opinion, but I will leave you with this scripture. If you are indwelt by His Spirit and actually care about what He thinks, I’m sure you can work through the matter yourself.

Deuteronomy 22:5 (New International Version)
5 A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.