Your Chance to Judge Me

When I think of each of you, I thank my God. B, you have been with me since the early days of my calling and I hope to have you with me at the close of my ministry. You are one of the more thoughtful people I have known and I consider it to be a great privilege to have your respect as you do mine. We don’t see each other as much as I’d like any more, but I hold onto the hope that the promise of the kingdom is more than sentiment, but something that can be taken at face value.

L, what I admire about you is your compassion for those who need your difference and in this regard, Mr. Wright has brought the best out in you as he has encouraged you in your personal walk with Christ. Likewise, you have watched me from a short distance as I have went through some of the biggest changes in my life and I hope that we will still be encouraging each other as life’s curtain draws near its conclusion.

L - If The Bible is God’s word, as I take it to be, I don’t see anything which would indicate that He has changed His stand on the matter. They’re born that way? Sure. We’re all born as sinners. . Psalm 51:5, “For I was born a sinner – yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.“ I don’t believe that the Psalmist was the only one who was born a sinner. Personally I see no reason why anyone would be exempt. So why would God allow us to be born as sinners? I can’t answer that. Let me know if you find the answer. I don’t believe that God loves those who try to do good. I believe that no one does good, and God loves them all. Romans 3:9-18

You don’t have to see it ‘my way’ for me to treasure my relationship with you. Even if you aren’t completely with me on this, I hope that you can appreciate my heart. Both of you have asked me a similar question,

“Can I love, accept a person without judging them?”

By myself, I can’t. Jesus loved (and loves) sinners. In fact, I believe that He was and is the only one ever to do so in its purest sense.

It’s a funny thing about sinners. They actually sin. I know I sound silly, but I’m very serious. For us as human beings, we really have a difficult time loving people who do the things that we know to be wrong. We tend to respond to sin in other people’s lives in one of two ways, a) we condemn the individual or b) we condone the sin. Respectively in our own lives, we tend to either justify the sin or beat up on ourselves.

Follow your gut instinct with me if you will. Think of the question that both of you asked me and think of the dynamics at play within the question. If I call, ‘that thing’ to be a sin, can I love the person? In our hearts, it seems to follow that if we say that a person is sinning, that we are unable to love them. That’s why the way of Jesus is so counter cultural. He neither condones sin, nor condemns the person.

I’ll be honest, I don’t always do that very well. I tend to waffle between the two. Sometimes I laugh or smile at sin. (Literally) Sometimes I throw stones. If I had a preference between the two, I don’t know which it would be. The people who wear, “God hates homosexual” signs at the PRIDE parades are just plain jerks. I suppose the people who say there is nothing wrong with it are at least nice.


About Judging

We’re all familiar with the words where Jesus says in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

The word judge literally means to pass sentence. Please consider the implications as they demonstrate themselves in real life. This weekend’s cover of The London Free Press carries the following headline, “The Verdicts – Guilty”. The first few words in the article share another part of the story as they read, “Tim Best’s fate now moves from the jury to the judge.”

There are two elements at work here which are distinctly separate, which somehow get melded together in our minds and they are the verdict and the sentence. The verdict has been reached by the jury, but he has not been judged yet. The judge has yet to pronounce sentence on Tim Best.

The verdict has to do with answering the question, “Did the person do that thing for which they have been accused?” Having been found guilty, the question that the judge needs to address is different; “What needs to be done about it?” The judgment or the sentence has to do with determining the penalty for the things that have been done.

There is a lot of judging that goes on, both from within and outside of the Christian community, and we are clearly told that it isn’t right. If you follow the news, it doesn’t take long before you uncover stories where people pass sentence. It’s not unusual to hear Christians say that homosexual’s go to hell. It’s not uncommon to hear of people who have been threatened, laughed at, beaten up or bullied. It’s not uncommon to see people who have been subjected to public ridicule. These are all different forms of passing sentence.

I encourage you to read through the passage of the woman brought to Jesus who was caught in adultery. The funny thing was that she was likely a heterosexual. I guess they sin too. He didn’t pat her on the back and say that it was ok, but He did chastise the people who wanted to throw the stones.

Christians aren’t the only people who judge where it isn’t their place. In fact, I’d accuse the London Free Press of subjecting Tim Best to public ridicule. Sure, the story needs to be covered. I get that. Do we need a picture of him on the front cover, standing next to his sobbing wife? Probably not.

There is a place for making moral judgment calls in our own lives as well as within the church regarding discipline. Don’t ask me to go there right now.

What sentence will be pronounced on Tim Best’s life? I don’t know. It’s not our job to know.

You Judge Me

You asked me whether or not I could love someone without judging them. I’ll let you in on my life and I’ll allow you to decide whether or not you think that I am able to do just that. You see, when I talk about these issues, they aren’t arbitrary situations. Just after writing my last post, a friend of mine gave me a call at work. Just so you know, he happens to be gay.

On more than one occasion, J has told me that he has some horrible sins in his past. I haven’t asked him what they were. I have not preached at him. I don’t know if he has ever had sex with another man or not. I don’t even need to know. All I know is that he is tortured in his own conscience. He often says things to me like this;

“I should be shot and pissed on.”
“The world would be a better place if I were dead.”
“I’ve done horrible things.”
“I should kill myself.”

Maybe you think I’ve got it all wrong, but for me, being Jesus’ light to Him means loving him regardless of his past, or even his present condition. When he calls me to talk, he isn’t looking for someone to tell him, “There’s nothing wrong with what you have done.” and the last thing that he needs is for me to say, “You’re right. You should be shot”.

I believe strongly that my place is to say, “Yeah. Sure you’ve done things that aren’t right. We all have. Welcome to humanity. No, the world won’t be better with you dead. No you shouldn’t kill yourself. Yes there is a purpose to your life as part of God’s family and I hope you can find it.”

J has a hard time coming to believe in a God who loves Him even though He has sinned. Don’ think less of him. How many people do you know who are able to love without condemning the person or condoning the sin? That kind of love is an alien love; one which is not common in the world in which we live.

When he called me last week, he told me that I was his, “Good Christian brother.” I responded by asking,

“So you believe that Jesus died for your sins?”

He answered saying, “Yeah. I believe that Jesus died for all of our sins.”

“No.”, I said. “Do you believe that His death on the cross paid the price for your personal sins?” (Whatever they may be)

After a brief pause he responded. “No. They’re too bad.” He still believes that he should be punished and can’t come to fathom the kind of love that would take the punishment on his behalf. The love of our Saviour is so amazing, it defies human logic.

I don’t know where J will spend eternity. That would be judging him and it’s not my job. The issue isn’t whether or not he is sleeping with other men. Turning straight won’t make him right with God either. The issue is whether or not he will be able to place his trust in Christ on this side of life. If you think I stink and you’re willing to walk with him, let me know. Maybe you can help him more than I can. Of course, he doesn’t trust many people, so I would have to ask his permission first.


Homosexuality and Me.

There is one other thing that you need to know, and besides my wife,
this will be news for most of the living world. Not only do you need to know that I love the homosexual people who God brings into my life, I’m not standing entirely outside of the practice myself.

***gasp****

When I was 11, I was staying at my cousin’s house overnight. Don’t ask me the grimy details. All I’ll say is that when you’re 11 years old, you don’t know how to handle those kinds of advances. That evening was probably the single most damaging event in my life. From then on I had struggled with whether or not I was gay. I remember being taught that it was genetic so I figured that maybe there was some medical test which could tell me whether or not I had the gene. Shortly thereafter, my cousin killed himself. It’s rather ironic don’t you think? The word, ‘gay’ used to mean happy. His death often causes me to question whether or not homosexual men really are that happy after all.

A year or two later, a friend of the family also tried to molest me. Fortunately, my sister was with me while he was trying to ‘play his game’, so together we just left the room. Again, don’t ask about the game. To each his own. Right? If it feels good do it. I guess that was the life philosophy of this guy as well as my cousin.

Do I have ‘the gay gene’? I don’t know. I’ve never been tested. I do have a lovely wife and four wonderful children. Maybe I’m over compensating.

The Judgment to Come

I’m not exactly sure how the judgment will unfold. I do however know the verdict which will be called over my life. I also know how I will plead.
“Kevin LeRoy Abell.

You have been accused of lying, gossiping and theft. You have been a fornicator at heart, a practising homosexual and a masturbator. How do you plead?”

“Guilty” (You’re just lucky I left out some of the ugly stuff.)

Before the sentence is proclaimed, I plan on asking for an Advocate. I’m told that I have One and that His name is Jesus. I don’t mind sharing my story with you, because I’ve been washed. I have received the love that refuses to either smile at my sin or condemn me.

So how about it? Do I sound like someone who can love and accept people without judging them? With Christ in me, I think I can love people who sin. Can you?